I've always loved the art behind vtubers and wanted to make my own... so I am.
Here's where I got on a base body for it after about 5 hours of on/off messing with it.
As I treat this blog as more of a diary of thoughts and stuff while I create things, I felt like blabbing about a topic that was basically the air I breathed around me for a significant portion of the last few years of my life - fashion, digital especially.
Until rather recently, I really had absolutely no fashion inclined bone in my body. It's hard to want to dress yourself up when you have next to no self confidence and you're the subject of bullies for being the fat, awkward, weird nerd girl kid. Then suddenly I was thrown into the world I knew absolutely nothing about but I had to learn and learn fast so that I could recreate it in the digital world.
Now, for the first time in my life (adult or otherwise) I have finally managed to get medical issues under control, lost a considerable amount of weight and I can wear normal sizes you find in most stores. It's been a really weird adjustment. I always feel like everyone around me is staring at me wondering what the hell this weirdo is doing shopping in their normal people's size stores. I'm fully aware no one is staring at me (for fat shame reasons anyway) but that feeling is going to take time to go away if it ever does. Feelings about it aside, it's been... fun, emotional to be able to buy clothes and enjoy what I look like in them.
While it's fun in the real world, it's even more rewarding in the digital one where I can literally make whatever the heck I feel like at the time - and I'm gonna make it in purple, duh. I make something I like, put it on my avatar, and I do a little happy squee.
Yeah, just wanted to blab about fashion and my toe-dipping into it.
I really like eccentric purple gothic stuff.💜
Can't wait to get multiple interactive stores up that host what I have made so I can blab about this more, along with actual game dev stuff.
This dog is my favorite.
I love him so much so if you've found your way here lucky you because you get to see and read about his majestic beastliness.
Just look at that meat head. Beautiful.
His name is Hiroto. It means 'big boy' in Japanese and he truly embodies it. He is a purebred Akita Inu. His mom was purer white than him and his father was a brindle. You can see black furs here and there if you look closely and there are gentle red markings that are really pronounced if you see him against a pure white snow environment. His gorgeous mane genuinely makes him look like a wolf at full stature and his fur shimmers in the light like a fake vampire.
He's sooooooo amazing, the best ever. I'll fight anyone about him.
He loves going in the car, or anywhere really, and hates to be left behind so I really try to take him with us whenever possible. In the summer of 2024, my family rented out an officer's house on the shore of Sandy Hook that let us bring him. Every morning as the sun rose, I'd sneak out with just him and walk somewhere new on the peninsula for him to discover all new sights and smells. He hates the ocean or at least being in it, I think. We only took him with us swimming once early in the week we stayed and he nearly refused to stick his big baby paws in the ocean. Perhaps he hated the sinking feeling as the waves on the shore washed away the sand under them. It happened once and then he was like ✌️ bruv. Dummy sat with me eating mussels in the sand while the boys went in the water.
He loves exploring new places so I make an effort to at least twice a week get lost somewhere in the woods or walking around with him in the city somewhere. You can tell how happy he is when he swings his big, silly head from side to side with his tongue swinging wildly as we walk down a trail and he gets a whiff of some other dog's piss to shove his snout in. And he always has to shit down a hill sideways. I'm told that's for ergonomic comfort.
Anyway, that's my dog. He's my second son and animal familiar. More importantly, I'm his willing human servant. I'm so grateful to get to spend part of my life with him in it.
One of my favorite parts of the trip my family recently made to Japan was coming across the Creative Museum Tokyo and happening upon their exhibition featuring Hokusai.
It felt like fate as the words coming through the headset made it clear that this was not just about observing the art this legend of a man had created but his processes, his literal invention of the foundation of Japanese manga art direction. Further impressive was that this man would typically challenge himself past whatever limitations existed in his physical tools for carving and painting by effectively forcing insane hard mode on himself, with many of his directional pieces emphasizing organic, flowing movement with the strict use of only a single, unbreaking line to make the whole figure.
While this was featured near the end of the exhibition, I feel it's appropriate to show first the tools this man and his apprentices used to make the prints that ultimately became the foundation of printed manga.
A random thought I wished to put out into the universe as I sit here on a 13 hour flight to Tokyo:
I was once told that for a business to succeed it must have a "North Star" to guide it. I don't think that thought process was grounded, objective or wise. Sure, you need guiding principles and a voice to siren call your people to follow you but why search for a star so far, far away when the big, beautiful, silver moon exists for us so close by? She's so powerful; Her phases affecting our oceans and our very lives through astrology. The Moon takes the raw, burning, sometimes harmful energy of the sun and translates it to a beautiful reflection that lets the Earth rest and recover at night.
Chasing after stars means you'll end up wandering aimlessly in space, perhaps forever doomed trying to lust after something unattainable.
Anyway, just a sky-thought.
I really don't care for recording myself in a video stream, too much work.
Screenshotting and documenting my thoughts in written words, now that's my language. 🤌
Gatekeeping game psychology behind secrets or a $ sign is dumb.
More fun games you make = more fun games for me to play and vice versa, so here is some shit I've noted that I feel is muy importanto while hard core diving into Roblox gameplay study imo the best and only way - kinesthetically.
If you're a passionate creative looking for ideas and words to help perhaps shape your own direction from that of a possibly insane, over cooked fellow creative, I would love for you to read further.
If you represent a soul-sucking corporation looking to feed off of the blood of the creative and experienced, please fuck all the way off until the end of time.💙
Hey, I'm Rachel.
Some people know me as Kalia or Bugtrot or Trotswithbugs but under the hood I'm Rachel, an artist a bit too over seasoned who is ready to make something special of her own. I hope to make this blog into a chronicle of my adventures, lessons, strides and struggles for anyone and everyone who might find it interesting or funny.
I live in Eastern, PA with my big white dog, small brown cat, cute noodle-come-alive snake, favorite son and loving husband. It's a busy life but one full of wonder, fun, imagination, nature and never knowing what will come next.
And now, I need some self-empowerment.
This is my adventure journal as I dive into the next chapter of creativity - making games I hope to deliver ungodly amounts of serotonin directly into your brain meat with. I'll be starting with a game I've dreamt of only a short while but has been developing like a crystal in my heart for so long it's ready to break out of the geode. Here's hoping Roblox likes puppies.
I'll be back here with more soon. 💙
- Rachel
